This is day 5 that I have been wide awake by 3 am. I am getting really, really tired of it; no pun intended. What to do at 3 am? Not a lot. I did squish a spider that was on my ceiling. This seems to be a daily occurrence for the last couple of weeks as the weather in Michigan gets warmer. You would be impressed with what I can do with one leg, a scooter, and a can of Aussie Freeze hairspray.
The anxiety and panic has let up, and I have been diligent about taking my meds if I even think I feel a panic attack coming on. The days are still so very long for me though.
My Doctor’s appointment at week 5 went well. I was not as anxious this time when leaving the house (fear of falling, getting injured more, etc). The surgeon said two more weeks of non-weight-bearing on the ankle, as there are still 2 cracks that have not completely healed. I go back in two weeks, and he said we talk weight bearing. He said normally 3 weeks after weight bearing, we discuss driving! I could have cried, I was so happy to hear this, and began to see a tiny pinhole of light at the end of the tunnel. I have been exercising my broken ankle and leg, as well as being as mobile as possible in my house.
I have been reading, and writing! I will have book reviews one after another very soon! The lack of sunshine has been especially tough for me, as it is every Winter. The weather says sunshine this afternoon, and I have fingers crossed that that does not change. Sunshine = feeling good and motivated. It is difficult for me to be motivated when it is grey and rainy and there seems to be nothing for me to do other than crawl under my covers and binge watch NetFlix. The Pinkertons, anyone? I wish it was not such a short series…
The praying and Bible study is continuing, of course. I try not to think too much about the fact that it is the Easter season, my favorite Christian holiday season, and I cannot participate as I would any other year. But I can participate in other ways, which is exactly what I am doing!
Seeing all of the brown grass and dead leaves in my yard has me thinking about flower beds for my yard, and I am so excited for when I can start digging in the ground and planting. Having something to look forward to definitely helps. My number 1 on my list is walking out my door, getting in my vehicle, and driving to work! I know that day is coming, and one day I will look back on this period in my life and reflect on what it has taught me. No matter how I feel, I absolutely try to do at least one positive thing each day, so as not to waste any of this learning lesson I am experiencing right now. I truly know this has happened for a reason, and I want to make sure I utilize every moment of it to get out of it what God has intended. My daily prayers always include asking God to let me see in my heart and spirit what it is I am meant to learn from this, so I can continue to grow.
Have you had a period in your life where you were meant to grow from what appeared to be a negative situation? How did it change you? I cannot wait to see all the ways my experience has and will continue to change me. I would love to hear your stories as well!